NARROWtive #001 – ‘Cup Final Day’

<<This is a collection of sub-250 word stories that are so short, they’d have to get a Yellow Pages to tickle Danny DeVito’s toe-hair>>

Cup Final Day

‘Hello, and welcome to the BBC Alba coverage of this ever-crucial League Cup Final with me, Clive Eddie, and my good friend and colleague, Eddie Clive. Say hi, Eddie.’

‘Hi.’

‘And, as I’m sure you’re well aware, the teams today are battling it out for the coveted Cock-a-Leekie League Cup trophy. We have Glenmmaukletorrtan Athletic – fresh off back-to-back wins against Funkytown Thistle and Tao Rovers, probably the first Scottish football team to be inspired by Eastern philosophical teachings – versus The Independent Republic of Benbecula, who have now officially seceded from the UK-‘

‘I don’t think they should be allowed to play in our league if they don’t want to be a part of our country, do you, Clive?’

‘I do not, Eddie. But, treasonous dogs or no, their star striker – Jean-Paul Paparazzo – is really something to behold.’

‘Oh, he’s something else, isn’t he? And I’m glad to be the one to say that he is officially back in contention for today’s game after that unfortunate uvula injury.’

‘Yes, Eddie, and here come the teams now. There’s no love lost between these two sides. I don’t think I’d be accused of hyperbole if I said this could be the greatest game in the history of the Cock-a Leekie League Cup-‘

‘CLIVE, THERE’S AN INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILE ENTERING THE STADIUM! DUCK AND COVER, FOOTBALL FANS, IT’S THE ENDTIMES. JESUS SAVE US ALL!’

by D.P

 

 

 

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